Citizenship! Lelong, lelong!

Blast from the Past. 22 Aug 2006...

In the recent National Day Rally, PM Lee announced S'pore will now go pro-immigration to attract more talents and to curb the birth rate problem.

Here are some ideas I can suggest to the new Citizenship and Population Unit, or CPU...

1. Introduce an opt-out for Citizenship upon renewal of Student Pass, Social Visit, Worker's Permit, etc. "I'm a S'porean?? Since when??"
2. Voucher for National Service exemption. Only valid for girls.
3. Free lift upgrading. Only valid for use in Potong Pasir and Hougang... whenever their turn comes.
4. Eligibility for Singapore Idol competition. Talent is optional. Eurasians may proceed directly to Finals.
5. Free passport number porting. What the heck... free porting too for first and last name, race, country of birth, etc.
6. Voucher for withdrawal of CPF funds. Not valid for use before 55 years of age.
7. Free ticket to Phuket on Tiger Air. Tax and surcharge not included.
8. Max. of 7 condoms allowed for each entry into S'pore.
9. Free stay at Tekong country club. Breakfast included.
10. Eligible for special mention by PM Lee during National Day Rally.(*)

(*) Conditions apply. You should have 1) set up a successful retail chain, or 2) personally know at least 3 celebrities, or 3) made reference to questionable Gahmen policies in Today newspaper.


This message is brought to you by Durex... "Relax. Let the newcomers fix the population."

The Haze. The view from home.

(In reverse chronological order)


Monday, Oct 16th. View from HarbourFront Tower, afternoon. Pi Sai reading at noon below 100. Somebody's nasal passages must be blocked.

Where's my beloved Spitting Lion???



Where's the CBD???




(From home)

And where's Bukit Timah???
















Sunday, Oct 15th. After a week of somewhat fresh air, the haze is back with a vengeance. The Pi Sai reading sure to go over the 100 mark again. Meanwhile, the papers report of gahmens talk, talk, talk, talk... and more talk.






Saturday, Oct 7th. Probably the worst day since the haze hit.

Not all HDB flats are created equal.

So other than the haze, what's been bugging me lately?

Well, HDB's pilot DBSS (Design, Build, Sell Scheme) was launched with a bang last week. The Straits Times front-page screamed, "Teak floorings, Italian hobs are standard fittings in these flats."! A reference to the Premiere@Tampines flats developed by Sim Lian. It looks private, smells private, but it's public housing.

Bravo! At first glance, the quality on offer was excellent. And it was drawing a lot of attention from the public. From the long line forming at the show flat, to the letters posted in the Straits Times forum pages. Including one from Mr. Lee (no, not the one running the country), who was quite (shall we say) p*ssed off about his ineligibilty.

Oct 7, 2006
Govt should relook income qualifying levels

WHEN my wife and I read about the Housing Board's first public-housing project by a private developer, our eyes lit up with hope - until we learnt that the same qualification rules apply.

To the Government, my family is one of the better-off ones. With a combined income of more than $8,000, we are deemed to be well off and, thus, not eligible for any subsidies. The only housing options available to us are private housing and older, yet more expensive, HDB resale flats.

My peers and I belong to a group who are not wealthy enough to live comfortably - despite what many think - yet not poor enough to deserve any benefits from the Government. Should misfortune strike, we are not eligible to downgrade our housing immediately because of the 30-month time-bar.

My family, rather reluctantly, bought a private property because we were making slightly more than $8,000 a month when we needed a new home five years ago. None of us really had any cash savings then and we ended up with a huge loan from the bank.

After five years of paying more than $30,000 in interest per annum, we hardly have any savings. Meanwhile, our property has depreciated by $200,000 while our loan remains slightly above $500,000.

My wife and I would like to expand our family. We did our calculations and planned our future but still found it difficult to move out of our Dink (Double Income, No Kids) status.

What the Government said about making it easier for couples to have kids, the need to have kids, and the need to retain talent meant nothing to us.

We played a role in Singapore's success, contributing to the government coffers via income tax, but we always feel left out where benefits are concerned.

Not so long ago, I broke out in cold sweat after hearing some minister propose means testing.

In Singapore, it is neither the Malays nor the Chinese that are marginalised; it is the families earning $8,000 and more.

Perhaps it is time the Government relooks income qualifying levels to more accurately reflect today's standard of living.

Poor Lee. Crying to the world about his problem - that he and his wife make too much (and yet not enough) money at the same time. What a paradox of a man. He's making my life look real pathetic. If Lee is to be believed, you need much more than $8K per month to 'live comfortably' in Singapore. Apparently, HDB resale flats are so expensive that you have to go for private properties. Yes, they are more ex than the new flats, but it doesn't mean you then have no choice but to splurge on an even more ex private property. How much more ex? Put it this way - his outstanding loan is more than double the total value of my HDB resale flat. And apparently, you need much more than $8K to raise a family here. If that's the case, the family that I support must be living on grass.

Lee may have some real problems, but it is obvious that they are self-inflicted. It is unfair to blame the gahmen for the difficulties in sustaining his (as opposed to 'today's') standard of living. If you insist on a high-flying lifestyle, go right ahead, but do so at your own risk. And do not blame others for any resulting financial distress.

So to Lee and his 'peers', just be grateful you're in that income stratosphere. Go enjoy life, and don't get so worked up over gahmen goodies you're not eligible for. You don't want to give others the impression that S'poreans are a bunch of kiasu uptight rich folks.

And please, seek financial counselling. Start with Lesson One - 'Live Within Your Means'.

Marriage Questionnaire

Blast from the Past: July 2004

Have your spouse and you answer this set of questionnaire separately. Then see how many of your answers match.

Would you prefer...

1. be massaged by your husband, or a professional masseuse?
2. your husband to wash, or fold the clothes?
3. your husband be bald, or have a beer belly?
4. to relive your wedding, or honeymoon?
5. renew vows in ceremony, or a bigger diamond ring?
6. your husband be a good handyman, or a good cook?
7. have more time to cook, or more money for take-outs?
8. your husband pay more attention to you, or to your children?
9. to move in with your parents, or your husband's parents?
10. your husband be stunningly smart, or be amazingly good-looking?
11. to cheat on your husband, or your husband to cheat on you?
12. have your husband argue with you a lot, or agree with you on everything?

The Haze: Who Said What?

From pageant queens to heads of state, seems like everyone has something to say about the haze. But who actually said what? Here’s the definitive guide…

“If not for the haze, the litter, the pollution, the traffic jam… Indonesia is a beautiful city!”

Miss Indonesia 2006.

“Indonesia? Is that some where near Bali?”

George W. Bush.

“There is no smoke without fire, there is no fire without a spark, there is no spark without a lighter, there is no lighter without oil, there is no oil without the oil companies. All the Westerner’s oil companies bigger than Petronas. So for sure, the haze is the Westerners’ fault!!”

Self-declared Honorary Minister Mentor of Malaysia (H.M.M.M.)

“No, it’s a bird! No, it’s a plane! No, it’s…”

SIA pilot coming in for landing.

“… The haze is acting as a wind resistance to our buses, causing extra drag, which increases petrol consumption… We have no choice but to raise fares by another 5%.”

Singapore bus company CEO, B.S. Ng

“So much haze how can I go out and burn incense? Why they so inconsiderate one?”

A Heartlander Auntie.

“…We are rolling out the wireless broadband network next year. This is to ensure we remain competitive with our neighbours. Look at Indonesia, 6,000 hot spots in Sumatra and Kalimantan alone.”

Singapore Leeder.

“… And the Pi Sai reading for today hor - hundred and chaof, you know.”

Ah Lian assigned to MediaCorp news desk.

“Ha ha ha ha!!!”

A smoker in smoker’s corner, somewhere outdoors in Singapore.

“To eliminate the threat of these farmers, I recommend a small deployment of ground infantry into Sumatra… supported by six squadrons of Apache attack helicopters… four F-16s with heat-seeking missiles...”

Isreali Prime Minister to PM Lee.

“Quote… Hok hok hok!... Unquote.”

Pope Benedict in KL.

“We are trying to resolve this on the diplomatic front. Failing which, we will be deploying Temasek Holding.”

Unconfirmed source.

“Our forests produce oxygen which makes the air cool for them, but they have never been grateful. Now that there is haze, they complain. There should be a balance.”

Indonesian Forestry Minister.

DISCLAIMER: These are not my personal views. They are fictitious quotes from somewhat fictitious characters. Except for that last one, it’s real. Just goes to show that life can be stranger than fiction.

Singapore, all together now... "He ain't hazy.... He's my brother." (Sorry, I know that was corny)

Hello World!

I've finally done it! My first foray into blogosphere. So much nonsense in my head that I just had to find some way to organize them, and share them to the world at the same time.

Firstly, for the benefit of the non-locals, the title 'Spitting Lion' is a reference to the Merlion, a mythical creature - part-lion, part-fish. Considered by some the national symbol of Singapore, the island state from where I am looking upon this world. Considered by others the symbol of all things ironic with life in Singapore. For the simple reason that by spewing water out of its mouth, it is in direct violation of Singapore's infamous no-spitting law.

It is such ironies and other things weird and wonderful on this island state which are the inspiration for this blog. In my posts, you will find an alternative, quirky, perverse look at the rumblings and happenings in Singapore... and the world around it. BTW, no, Singapore is not part of China.

Suggestions, criticisms and any type of nonsense are most welcome. For any worthy ideas that I implement, you will receive due credit. And if you leave your postal address, you should receive a cheque in your mail shortly, signed 'The Lion King'.

Enjoy!

The Lion King



DISCLAIMER (always useful in a leetigious environment): Despite the occasional political undertones you may spot in some of my posts, I bear no hidden agenda - political, religious or otherwise. In any case, my interest is social issues. The humour you find here are designed for the sole purpose of entertainment (and passing idle time). I have the paper qualification to prove it...

Wee vs. Wee: The Beginning

The blog posts which started the furore, spilling over to mainstream media...

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Derek Wee's original commentary which prompted Ms Wee's response.
By Derek Wee
Oct 12, 2006
When I read the Straits Times article (dated 24 Sep) on PM Lee calling the young to be committed and make a difference to Singapore, I have so much thought about the issue.
I am 35 years old, graduated from University and gainfully employed in a multinational company. But I cannot help but feel insecure over the future of Singapore. Lets face it, it's not uncommon to hear, "when you are above 40, you are over the hill".
The government has been stressing on re-training, skills upgrading and re-adapt. The fact is, no matter how well qualified or adaptable one is, once you hit the magical 40, employers will say, "you are simply too old".
We have been focusing our resources and problem solving on low unskilled labour. But in reality, our managerial positions and skilled labour force are actually fast losing its competitiveness.
I travel around the region frequently for the past 10 years. It didn't take me long to realise how far our neighbours have come over the past decade.
They have quality skilled workers, and are less expensive. When I work with them, their analytical skills are equally good, if not better than us.
It's not new anymore. Taxi drivers are fast becoming "too early to retire, too old to work "segment of the society. I like to talk to taxi drivers whenever I am heading for the airport.
There was this driver. Eloquent and well read. He was an export manager for 12 years with an MNC. Retrenched at 40 years old. He had been searching for a job since his retrenchment.
Although he was willing to lower his pay expectations, employers were not willing to lower their prejudice. He was deemed too old. I wouldn't be surprised if we have another No. 1; having the most highly educated taxi drivers in the world.
On PM Lee calling the young to be committed and make a difference. Look around us. How dedicated can we be to Singapore when we can visualise what's in store for us after we turned 40? Then again, how committed are employers to us? But we can't blame them. They have bottom lines & shareholders' gain to answer to.
Onus is really on the government to revamp the society. A society that is not a pressure cooker. A society that does not mirror so perfectly, what survival of the fittest is.
But a society, where it's people can be committed, do their best and not having to fear whether they will still wake up employed tomorrow. Sadly, Singapore does not offer such luxuries and security anymore.
On the issue of babies. The government encourages us to pro-create. The next generation is essential in sustaining our competitive edge. Then again, the current market condition is such that our future has become uncertain. There is no more joy in having babies anymore; they have become more of a liability. It's really a chicken and egg issue.
Many of my peers, bright and well educated have packed up and left. It's what MM Goh called "quitters". It's sad but true, Singapore no longer is a place where one can hope to work hard their lives and retire graciously. It's really the push factor.
A future is something we sweat it out, build and call our own. Unfortunately, people like me, mid 30's going on 40's, staying put by choice or otherwise, we can't help but feel what lies ahead is really a gamble.
To PM Lee and the Ministers, we are on a different platform. Until you truly understand our insecurity, the future of Singapore to me remains a question mark.

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From Ms Wee's blog:
http://www.suchvividnothing.blogspot.com/
Thursday, October 19, 2006

mom's friend sent her some blog post by some bleeding stupid 40-year old singaporean called derek wee (WHY do all the idiots have my surname why?!) whining about how singapore is such an insecure place, how old ppl (ie, 40 and above) fear for their jobs, how the pool of foreign "talent" (dismissively chucked between inverted commas) is really a tsunami that will consume us all (no actually he didn't say that, he probably said Fouren Talern Bery Bad.), how the reason why no one wants kids is that they're a liability in this world of fragile ricebowls, how the government really needs to save us from inevitable doom but they aren't because they are stick-shoved-up-ass elites who have no idea how the world works, yadayadayadayada.
i am inclined - too much, perhaps - to dismiss such people as crackpots. stupid crackpots. the sadder class. too often singaporeans - both the neighborhood poor and the red-taloned socialites - kid themselves into believing that our society, like most others, is compartmentalized by breeding. ridiculous. we are a tyranny of the capable and the clever, and the only other class is the complement.
sad derek attracted more than 50 comments praising him for his poignant views, joining him in a chorus of complaints that climax at the accusation of lack of press freedom because his all-too-true views had been rejected by the straits times forum. while i tend to gripe about how we only have one functioning newspaper too, i think the main reason for its lack of publication was that his incensed diatribe was written in pathetic little scraps that passed off as sentences, with poor spelling and no grammar.
derek, derek, derek darling, how can you expect to have an iron ricebowl or a solid future if you cannot spell?
if you're not good enough, life will kick you in the balls. that's just how things go. there's no point in lambasting the government for making our society one that is, i quote, "far too survival of fittest". it's the same everywhere. yes discrimination exists, and it is sad, but most of the time if people would prefer hiring other people over you, it's because they're better. it's so sad when people like old derek lament the kind of world that singapore will be if we make it so uncertain. go be friggin communist, if uncertainty of success offends you so much - you will certainly be poor and miserable. unless you are an arm-twisting commie bully, which, given your whiny middle-class undereducated penchant, i doubt.
then again, it's easy for me to say. my future isn't certain but i guess right now it's a lot brighter than most people's. derek will read this and brand me as an 18-year old elite, one of the sinners who will inherit the country and run his stock to the gutter. go ahead. the world is about winners and losers. it's only sad when people who could be winners are marginalised and oppressed. is dear derek starving? has dear derek been denied an education? has dear derek been forced into child prostitution? has dear derek had his clan massacred by the government?
i should think not. dear derek is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, and in this world. one of those who would prefer to be unemployed and wax lyrical about how his myriad talents are being abandoned for the foreigner's, instead of earning a decent, stable living as a sales assistant. it's not even about being a road sweeper. these shitbags don't want anything without "manager" and a name card.
please, get out of my elite uncaring face.

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Straits Times - Nov 9, 2006

Reactions to teen blogger's views 'show social rifts'

By Aaron Low

THE anger in the Internet community over remarks made online by a teenage girl revealed more about the deep divisions within Singapore society than the subject of the debate itself, said Mr Sin Boon Ann (Tampines GRC).

And while she was entitled to her views, he said that it was unfortunate she said what she did, even if she is cut some slack because of her age.

Mr Alvin Yeo (Hong Kah GRC) noted that many of those who protested against her felt that the remarks should not have been made in the first place.

This shows that freedom of expression is 'not an unmitigated, absolute right', said Mr Yeo. 'It has to coexist with other rights or values, and on occasion give way to them.'

The MPs were referring to Raffles Junior College student Wee Shu Min, who criticised fellow blogger Derek Wee, 35, on her blog for his voicing the older Singapore worker's anxiety over his job security.

Neither MP mentioned the 18-year-old by name. She is the daughter of Mr Wee Siew Kim (Ang Mo Kio GRC).

Mr Sin said many had diagnosed this episode to be symptomatic of the widening gulf in society here: 'The perception exists that Singapore is a society that is bifurcated between elites and the commoners, the scholars and the Normal stream... and the rich and the poor.'

As globalisation continues, the income gap will widen, he noted, alienating those who cannot compete.

Mr Sin said Singapore 's highly stratified society was showing up in how people defined their sense of self worth by the school they attended and the car and kind of house they owned.

He said it seemed no longer good enough to get into a top school - a 'successful' student was one who got into the Gifted Education Programme, or took 'S' (or Special) papers at the A levels. Similarly, scholarship holders from overseas universities were perceived to have better opportunities in the civil service than those from local universities.

Singaporeans obsess over academic performance because it is seen as the key to social mobility, he said, so even low-wage parents would 'scrimp and save to provide tuition for their children'.

And if the social stratification hardens, those who see the way up closed will feel resentful, so the Government must strive to close the income gap.

Mr Sin called for the civil service to lead the way by inculcating a spirit of service and responsibility among those who have gone overseas on a scholarship.

He said: 'Only through the spirit of humility and service can the barriers of arrogance, pride and snobbery be over come.'