Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Citizenship! Lelong, lelong!

Blast from the Past. 22 Aug 2006...

In the recent National Day Rally, PM Lee announced S'pore will now go pro-immigration to attract more talents and to curb the birth rate problem.

Here are some ideas I can suggest to the new Citizenship and Population Unit, or CPU...
  1. Introduce an opt-out for Citizenship upon renewal of Student Pass, Social Visit, Worker's Permit, etc. "I'm a S'porean?? Since when??"
  2. Voucher for National Service exemption. Only valid for girls.
  3. Free lift upgrading. Only valid for use in Potong Pasir and Hougang... whenever their turn comes.
  4. Eligibility for Singapore Idol competition. Talent is optional. Eurasians may proceed directly to Finals.
  5. Free passport number porting. What the heck... free porting too for first and last name, race, country of birth, etc.
  6. Voucher for withdrawal of CPF funds. Not valid for use before 55 years of age.
  7. Free ticket to Phuket on Tiger Air. Tax and surcharge not included.
  8. Max. of 7 condoms allowed for each entry into S'pore.
  9. Free stay at Tekong country club. Breakfast included.
  10. Eligible for special mention by PM Lee during National Day Rally.(*)

(*) Conditions apply. You should have 1) set up a successful retail chain, or 2) personally know at least 3 celebrities, or 3) made reference to questionable Gahmen policies in Today newspaper.


This message is brought to you by Durex... "Relax. Let the newcomers fix the population."

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Friday, October 13, 2006

Marriage Questionnaire

Blast from the Past: July 2004

Have your spouse and you answer this set of questionnaire separately. Then see how many of your answers match.

Would you prefer...
  1. be massaged by your husband, or a professional masseuse?
  2. your husband to wash, or fold the clothes?
  3. your husband be bald, or have a beer belly?
  4. to relive your wedding, or honeymoon?
  5. renew vows in ceremony, or a bigger diamond ring?
  6. your husband be a good handyman, or a good cook?
  7. have more time to cook, or more money for take-outs?
  8. your husband pay more attention to you, or to your children?
  9. to move in with your parents, or your husband's parents?
  10. your husband be stunningly smart, or be amazingly good-looking?
  11. to cheat on your husband, or your husband to cheat on you?
  12. have your husband argue with you a lot, or agree with you on everything?

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